Being alone

How many hours in a day are we being really alone...? To think deeply of myself... I don't have the time, even i'm alone. But suddenly i think to want to send text to someone, or to contact someone... I cannot be really alone... Before, i could have that time to think of myself and other things. But i'm not already used to be that. Why...? Am i busy? Am i lazy? Am i stupid? Do i not see my future...? Even though my mind is becoming closer, to keep myself... I cannot open my mind for others... And... Even though, i cannot endure being alone... I want someone to care of me... But sometimes not... I'm used to be alone... But also i feel lonely... I have only one heart, but it seems the heart to be broken up... Who am i...? What do i have...? Does something need me...? ... I don't know...